Relationships come in many shapes: a single point, a dotted line, a straight line, a jagged zig zag, a gently curved line. Ours was a long line – more than 25 years long – with peaks and valleys, smooth flat sections, winding, colourful parts, and a long section towards the end that looks like the pen started running out of ink and then exploded all over the page – a long, slow fizzle-out with an abrupt ending.
Chasing her, I lost my self. And I can see, in the clarity of hindsight, that she was only running after her own lost self.
Yes, we were only children. But it saddens me that we were unable to be more accepting of each other – unable to truly celebrate the ways we are different.
Today, I am waking from a deep sleep. I am learning to be comfortable with discomfort. I am learning to slow down and be present, consider and care for myself, and trust that everything is as it should be. I am a new beginning.